Words Cut Deep

Lifestyle

So I recently took a chance to collaborate with a writer that I find so inspirational and a huge influencer, Harpreet M Dayal – in which I worked into her words and produced a piece that still to this day since I’ve first read it, cuts deeper than you could possibly imagine.

I recently endured a heartbreak, it may have been a little apparent on my personal instagram account – it was something that threw me off completely. From coming out of a bad situation together, moving forward and bringing myself onto a higher level – spiritually, mentally and emotionally, this made me crash. And reading these words brought it home, literally. These words cut deep.

It isn’t something I’ve actually spoken about on my social media, but I guess my blog is a lot more personal than my instagram sometimes, I guess thats a bit of a beauty about it, I know theres only a few selective readers on here who really do know me personally. It’s been challenging, it truly has, and it’s also taught me a lot about myself too, and how to begin self loving again when you’ve actually never been able to do it in the first place.

Truth be told, this is the first time in maybe 3-4 years that I’ve been single, and staying single for a while too. Of course we’ve had the discussion of rekindling, but the time isn’t right yet, and who knows what happens in the future (I hate admitting and knowing myself that it’s true), but that’s currently me at the moment. It hasn’t been easy, but I suppose a break up never is really. We’re still really good friends and can speak to each other the same with the same levels of trust and confidence and belief in one another, but I guess that love takes a while to fade.

But it’s true a lot of what you read about heartbreak, it teaches you more about you than you ever knew before. It forces you to rely on you, to make you think of yourself first, to learn how to make final decisions with the immediate others opinion, or their support and comfort. It teaches you to be strong in your weakest moments, teaches you to still keep your heart open even when you want to close it off from the whole world, makes you believe everything truly does happen for a reason and the universe will work in your favour and only send to you what you attract through thoughts and speech for you to progress to the next level.

It’s painful, and draining, and those words still cut deep knowing I still care, I still love, I still want and crave those comforts because they became home.

If you haven’t already please check out Harpreet on social media or across google – her words are beyond beautiful and are seriously some food for thought. She’s one of the nicest people I’ve had the pleasure of getting to know, but she keeps it humble – the one thing I hold a lot of respect for to people in this world nowadays.

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Humanity

Lifestyle

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Meet this innocent blob – her name is Simran, born in 96, true Gemini, indecisive at the best of times, forever in a world of her own and always dream catching, however quickly she decides to make them change.

She grew up in a world where phones weren’t given out until you were around 13, Instagram didn’t exist, Facebook was brand new, you could play in the park until 10pm in Summer and not even be worried about it because the world wasn’t safe, it wasn’t, it still isn’t but it was nowhere near as f*cked up as it is today.

Kids today are more exposed and vulnerable than we ever have been. We openly share our lives, our whereabouts, who we’re with and where we go munch. And then you see all this fucked up shit on the news about kids being kidnapped, killed, drugged, left for dead, being sold out! What the f*ck happened to us? What the f*ck happened to humanity? People forget to realise we as human beings belong to someone one way or another – as a mother, brother, sister, father, friend, husband, wife, daughter, son, child, loved one, all because somebody had a bad day or week, they got down & out and felt pressurised, they needed the money or were forced to do it. We lose our own lives to someone else over a comment, a post, a like, something we saw on the news on Facebook.

So my question to the world is who the hell are you, what do you want to actually do or become? People forget we have dreams, we all want to become somebody, make a mark on the world one way or another, even if it’s just to one person. So why do people feel they have the right to take that away from someone?

A huge inspiration to me recently told me about a concept they wanted to do, to thank a bunch of inspirational people out there for being them, and influencing even just a small part of the world in the way they do, and told me about a ‘pay it forward card’ – paying someone a compliment, however big or small, passing on a positive vibe. And you know, in that moment, I fell in love with us as human beings and with humanity again, he gave me hope that there’s still a chance for some of us in this world to try and do the right thing and have a positive mindset and treat people as human beings. He’s my biggest inspiration, has been for the last 2 years and always will be, for without him I wouldn’t be where I am today, he inspired me to open up, share my opinions with the world and pay it forward too. I just hadn’t noticed all this time until he reminded me of who I was, and what I wanted to do.

Absolutes

Lifestyle

“we crave absolutes, they comfort us, but life is infinitely more complex than that” – if you’ve seen it, you’ll know that I just quoted an episode of Riverdale.

Being caught up on the series, it’s made me question so much – maybe because the age range of the characters in the show are closely related to my own age, but why do we crave absolutes? Who do we have to feel in control, take comfort in reassurances, is it the perception of so much possibility that instills fear into every single one of us?

It’s inevitable, I know this, I’d be a hypocrite if I said I didn’t fear anything, truth be told, I fear a lot of things, of things going wrong, dreams being out of reach, people leaving my life and so much more, I’ve recently had to deal with a few of them. But it’s how we are brought up, it’s what keeps a burning desire alive, love and passion there in our hands for it to lead the way. I for one, am a perfectionist to a degree and a control freak for some aspects in my life – I need routine and to-do lists, I have to have a plan, some direction, a path to follow to lead the way marked out for me something to help keep me sane in a world as mixed up and as messy as ours is.

But then I heard another line, that even those closest to you can be monsters too, and again, it’s another fear I have, we all have too, but it scares me how truthful it is. There’s a lot I’ve seen in life so far to make me question how many monsters I’ve meet in the world, in all forms and every single one of them has been a lesson that maybe I haven’t even come across yet, but isn’t it crazy how one series or show can open your eyes to so much without even realising?

Perfectionism, ideals, shame, fear, acceptance, betrayal, loyalty, love, they’re all such controversial things, so I guess this is the beginning of me opening up about all of it and sharing my view – this may begin to turn spoken or visual, I’m still battling a fear of maybe considering a YouTube channel like I mentioned in my life update status. But it’s something I feel quite strongly about – speaking about ‘taboo’ or ‘controversial’ things, I feel it’s something we don’t speak enough about these days, and ironically, they’re all topics that are the bread and butter of each day. Things we come across so naturally, yet refuse to voice them.